The thing I don’t get asked.

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The thing I don’t get asked

A few years ago at Christmas time,  my mom and I were out shopping, at Kohls to be exact. In the back near the holiday ornaments, we ran into an old family friend. My mom and her exchanged pleasantries, with my mom asking how her kids were doing. Her son was recently married with a new baby boy. Her daughter, just slightly older than me, was engaged and recently found a job in her field.

 

Politely, the conversation turned to my brothers and sisters, who are always doing amazing things. Then the family friend turned to me. First asking about my son, whom she had taken care of in her in Home daycare. Then, she asked me something I’ve never, ever, been asked before. She said, “so, are you seeing anyone?”

 

Because I’ve never been asked this question, I got all splotchy, turned seven shades of red and stammered before responding. I honestly, don’t even remember my response. I am sure it was no, and I know I quickly changed the subject off of me.

 

Now, let’s go back to that question-  “so, are you seeing anyone?” Basically the most common question asked by family members, family friends, etc- especially once you are over a certain age. I’m sure you’re thinking, she’s lying or exaggerating when she says she had never been asked that before. But, alas, I am not. I haven’t been asked it since- by anyone.

 

My family doesn’t ask. Coworkers never ask. Acquaintances don’t ask. My mom and grandma don’t  badge me to “meet a nice boy”. No one asks.

 

My siblings are all in relationships. Most of my cousins are in relationships. Some are married.

 

It is as if everyone in my life has given up hope- just like me. No one attempts to set me up or encourages me to try to find someone.

 

The thing is…I have tried. I have used most dating apps and websites. I have found those are the biggest killers of confidence. You attempt to match and match. Sendings likes, flirts and messages with no response. Or if they do respond it is over after the traditional “hey”.

 

So…really what is the point in trying anymore. Honestly. So, as a consolation prize, I keep myself buuuuussssy…partly out of necessity, like juggling multiple jobs, but mostly to stay distracted. It is easier to fake it and say “I don’t have time to date”, instead of saying, “I can’t get a date to save my life.” (Expect, now everyone knows…)

 

Maybe in one of my stay bust activites someone will magically appear, like a mystical unicorn and sweep me off my feet. #adesperategirlcandream #butletsbehonest

 

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